Saturday, November 09, 2013

(Produced) Screenplay Review: The Bling Ring

"We were acting insane, but it all felt so glamorous and wonderful."

Premise: A group of California teens burglarize celebrity homes. 

Written by: Sofia Coppola

Technical: 93 pages. Shooting script.

California teenager Nicki lives with her mother, as well as her younger sister (Emily) and her adopted sister (Sam). The three kids are homeschooled, surrounded by Buddha statues and doing flower essence work (whatever that is).

We also have Marc, who's starting at a new school (he was kicked out of his last one). He's initially nervous, but becomes fast friends with Rebecca; a celebrity obsessed, aspiring fashion designer. Rebecca teaches Marc how to break into fancy cars and houses, stealing the valuables inside. Soon they're stealing cars, cash, and going on Starbucks-fueled shopping sprees. One evening at a night club Marc and Rebecca meet up with one of Becca's friends, Chloe, as well as Nicki and Sam (who went to school with Chloe).

The four girls plus Marc start breaking into celebrity houses, including the homes of Megan Fox, Orlando Bloom, Lindsay Lohan, and some D-listers no one's heard of. It's all fun and glamorous when they're picking through Lindsay Lohan's underwear drawer... and things get better once most of the kids are arrested and convicted. The Blingers are caught in a media blitzkrieg, and they adore the attention (but of course tell the cameras otherwise).

Whatever Sofia Coppola was going for in this script... she didn't achieve it. Or maybe she did. Either way, the script is pointless. It frustrates me that such a competent writer would choose such an empty, futile project.

I do not care if people call "The Bling Ring" satire. Because it is worse than empty... it is downright counterproductive. "The Bling Ring" is not a criticism of the awful behaviour it displays; rather, it is promoting it. And anyone who says otherwise is dead wrong. Coppola is feeding life into the real-life Blingers (this project was based off of a true story), feeding life into the estates of these dummy celebrities, and probably doing a whole lot of other damage to the world.

About: "The Bling Ring" was made into a film, released in 2013. Directed, written, and produced by Sofia Coppola. The script is based on actual events that took place (the real-life seven teenagers involved committed the theft of about $3 million in cash and possessions.)

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